it's out. it's finally out. haha. it is now that i begin to think if my decision was right. yeaa sure it's e politically correct thing to do and it has to be so soon or later anyway. i think i'm just missing NE, my alma mater. gosh im missing it even before i leave! well anyway that's only partly why im stoning now. what adds to my fear is integration into the new environment. sure i know it's a fine group, afterall which group isnt.. but fitting in isnt always a piece of cake. i want to look at things from the optimist point of view, that changes are opportunities. but i also want to know what to hope for, what to look forward to. i want to prepare myself but i don't know what to prepare for. therefore my mind is a blank, just like how i view my future right now.

well. at least i can be sure it's gonna be within god's plan and things will turn out wonderful. :) i wanna believe so at least.
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.What have you lost? Nothing!)Always look on the right side of life...

YEA! i should really adopt this as my life motto. haha. *laughs out loud*
i didnt mean to seek attention with my silence. there are times when i need my own space and time to think through stuff. so stop trying so hard. it only leaves me feeling guilty, adding on to the burden i already have. stop trying so hard to get me to crack. i dont want to. since there's only one who can get those teasers then others should just stop guessing. we'll all see the answer one day.. and that includes me.
im officially 18 2 days ago! yay!

so i shld stop living for myself maybe a little bit more for others. perhaps also be a little less selfish, a little more selfless. to stop thinking that the world revolves around me. to stop being so deluded and slightly more realistic.

aii.. it's time to mature.
mm. it's 2nd may. about a month has passed. it feels like this whirlpool which i have been in for the past one month has finally stopped its spin. yay! ya yay! i should be glad shldnt i? haha.
well in a way i am. in a way im not. i never knew i would feel nostalgic about it but i guess i do. perhaps it's the pain i was used to. or be it the joy i've experienced. they all play a part in this not-quite-forgetable journey.

i would only feel this way for this moment. or at least i hope. i've greater things to worry about now. i can't linger.